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[24 May 2006|05:21pm] |
forgot what i was going to say
just to let you guys know i was onto something, but i forgot
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[13 Apr 2006|02:45am] |
Comment and I'll give you a letter. Then you come up with 10 words that begin with that letter, and explain what they mean to you.
Abby gave me G:
1. Green: A colour i once loved now I dont like it that much :O
2. Grawr: A cool sound
3. Genitals: We all love genitals!
4. Grass: Cows eat it. So does my dog!
5. Guitar: Something I cant play... unless its a Bass!
6. Guro: <3 <3 <3 Guro
7. Ganguro: I wanna hit one soooo bad
8. Garbage: Im home alone and its starting to pile up after 3 days!
9. Gank: Something I'd do to lowel if he was on a PvP Server on WoW and I was a horde >:D
10. Gingers: Ginger haired people are fucking @_@
also lowell gave me O!
1. O Rly: Ya Rly.
2. Open Door: My door is currently unlocked (please dont burgle me ;-;)
3. Open bar: Heaven
10. Ocelot: Coolest thing in MGS ever. totally.
Yes I skipped a few. O sucks lowell. Just like you! You O!
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| stole from tony |
[11 Apr 2006|12:25pm] |
If you comment...
1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll name something we should do together.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal so you can do the same for other people.
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| Part II |
[01 Apr 2006|11:22pm] |
While I wait on my Creme Brulee cooling down (its like AHHHHH hot) ill continue.
How can I be contempt in a life in which your biggest surprise is the fucking weather. If I could I would go to some city Ive never been to before for this long weekend I have coming up. Dublin, or Seville. Or Chicago. what is stopping me?:
Id Probably have to go alone as the only guy I know who would be game for that is busy with his own stuff. Money is not that much of a problem but it would be if I did that often. And maybe Im afraid to go do it myself.
Is it weird to travel to places on your own? Would I make friends and have a good time there alone? Id probably have to do it to find out.
Thats just one of the many plans I have for fun. Just thinking and making up plans I currently think would be impossible is somewhat of a thrill since my life is so boring and stale.
I also lack a lot of friends. Main reason being I dont get to meet people. Im stopping going to pubs since I get so damn violent now when im drunk and im very unsocial when im not fighting and drunk anyways. I have a few friends i'm very glad to have but in all honesty, I need more.
My friend in college is the one I have most in common with since hes nuts like me, but hes always busy with his girlfriend and stuff anyways.
I dunno what i'm trying to accomplish with this post but I like typing it out, since I wont talk to anyone about it.
What do you think? Comments make baby jesus giggle. And make me smile :)
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[01 Apr 2006|07:59pm] |
I feel quite depressed. Not like 'oh im so unfortunate' but more like im upset with the world and how it works.
I want to do what I want without dwelling on the cons of it spontaneously. But someone will convince me its a bad idea. Not me though, Ive stopped giving a fuck in most sense because I want to have fun.
And my regrets on things done are dissapearing too. But if only everyone else was like me.
Its sad to know that for the next set period of time I will do pretty much the same thing over and over because its a safe bet. But its not fun at all. I wanna do stuff like I used to with my brother. Like when we *stole* my dads courtesy car and drove it to england and didnt call anyone to tell where we were. Or when I got me and my exgirlfriend a £200 a night hotel room in Edinburgh after seeing the Pixies (which was also spontaneous) instead of just going home and playing it safe. Or when me and my brother were talking to the communists on saturday xD.
I am quite happy with my brother but we disagree too often.
More on this later.
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[19 Mar 2006|10:42pm] |
lol my ex called me last night sounding all sad, i asked her whats up and she was like 'nothing, can you call me back on my mobile' and I said I was going out (lie) and ill call her tomorrow (which I considered then I remembered I deleted her number as per the last entry) xd
I could probably get back with her, but i'm not going to, Despite how much id like to have a girlfriend i dont want her.
Another weekend spent on WoW o/ level 53 now *gots no lifes*
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[16 Mar 2006|09:52pm] |
I got rid of a lot of old phone numbers/emails etc from people I dont talk to either more or dont want to talk to again (And want to make sure Ive lost all means to contact them if I ever try to in the future), those numbers being ex's lol.
I got drunk last night and its awesome. It's good to have a drinking buddy who will match your drink, be honest and trustworthy yet we can still harass people together and talk a lot of crap!
I was reading up on some mythology and the word phallus is stuck in my head n____n; Also I really want to learn Spanish like fairly well and hopefull Gaelic one day (It is a freaky ass language to hear!) And im so far behind in college its funny.
Oh I will go to Amsterdam asap because I need a break badly. Stressed out from work and stuff.
Also I want a girlfriend so any girls want some of my sodomy?
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[05 Mar 2006|02:59am] |
So.... why live you life knowing you suck and are the scum of the erath. Either slit your wrists now or make the change,
Life wont give it to you, you need to earn it, by being as cold blooded and evil as you can.
Other people exist only to be stepped on. It's the way of the world.
Life is worth living.
It's sad I need to be drunk to realise this. Maybe this will serve as a reminder.
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| teh teh teh teh |
[12 Feb 2006|06:38pm] |
ALLO
Last night me and my friend went out drinking. With the intention not to get drunk (which worked great)
The night started as usual, same bars, hopping around town looking for fun only this time we were drinking a lot lighter than usual (meaning Beer or single measure spirits as opposed to the usual doubles and shots) So I spent a lot less money and was not sick and!!!! I did not act like an asshole or get in a fight... like every other week before xD
So, i was in the last bar where we met a lot of friends. My friend was hitting on not one but two girls and pulled em both! >:o
I started feeling emo but I wasnt talking much, I was looking for a girl myself and thought I found a couple I was chatting up a little but I never got nowhere.
Then two girls come in. One is the gf of a new friend I made last night and the other was her friend. And well I kissed her a few times, got her number and actually made £5 because my friend dared me to kiss her, he must have thought she was ugly but I thought she was really pretty. I hope I wasnt beer goggled. She had a lil bit of a belly but its cute and MOAR CUSHING FOR DA PUSHIN and she has sexy glasses >:D So the dare bet thing was funny because he says it to me while im chatting her up and getting her number. Then I say to her 'hes going to gimme £5 if I kiss you' and I kiss her and buy her a drink out of it lol. But she thought I did it for the money so I had to 'convince' her I didnt heh.
Spoke to her today, shes a pretty cool girl. But shes 17 and in high school, im 19... is that too much difference? I dunno Im thinking its almost too much but still ok I think... bleh she finished high school in 4 months or so anyways. Not that this is anything serious but it could be. Meeting up with her on friday at the latest to go to the pub again.
Heh so last night was good for me. going from total emo to total ego boost cheered me up. Then I got asked by a band on myspace who were interested in me playing bass for them which would be cool plus I got to call my ex an emo bitch this mornign when she was whining to me.
ah levvy is happy. Even tho this happyness wont last forever, thats just how life goes.
If you were happy 100% of your life, well. The happiness I feel now wouldnt be that important to someone who knows happiness all the time. Does that make sense. I think im still drunk.
Blehtering shite :D
So yeah me happy <3 me love you all
ps I smoked last night so I decided to smoke only on weekends until I feel I can drink without smoking (Meh its complicated)
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[13 Jan 2006|04:37pm] |
Oh, I did that majors quiz thing btw I got biology but I forgot to copy the crap and well i dont feel like doing it again. No surprise, I love biology and it was the class I did best in. I wish i pursued it now :(
in other news i need to poop and im going to see jarhead tonight.
first week back at work was ok since i was only in for 3 days :D
My flu is going away now, it might just be a bad cold though. Also I gave up smoking on monday so my throat is all ew and gross. And incase you doubt I#ll keep of smoking I will, because i've already accomplished the hardest part of giving up (and it was a lot easier than last time when I was off for a month or two) so I dont think I'll ever smoke again. Its a good thing because:
a)it makes me feel sick
b) makes me feel really unfit
c) costs monies
d) smoking in public is going to be banned soon so it will be a hassle soon
Also I have no urge to drink any more. not that im giving it up, more like laying off it. Im a bit of a violent drunk apparently... lol
cya
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| Plans plans plans |
[05 Jan 2006|06:17am] |
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PotC OST <3 |
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I find it easier to write stuff on here, this is a personal thingy but comments are welcome if you wish.
Plans to get 'mature':
By my 20th birthday (July 16 this year) I hope to be at a level of self-reliability, so that if I still feel like moving out at that point, I could and will move out. Finances are not of concern, I just need to be able to take care of myself. Main problems are as follows with possible solutions next to them.
Sleeping in late every morning -Practise trying to wake up by at least 7 am each morning, including weekends and holidays. Plus getting a better alarm clock >D
Very lazy when it comes to cleaning up - I blame this partly on my house being too fucking big, a small flat i'm sure I could keep in running order. Plus the fact it'd be my place would give me more pride I guess so I would take better care of it. Solution would be to at least keep my room clean at all times (would reduce nagging from parents a hel of a lot) plus doing more chores now and then. Also I should learn to do laundry xD
Cooking - Well... im a pretty decent cook if i do say so, main problem being i'd probably make a lot of mess and not clean it up. But I dont think its a big concern. Should try to work on eating more healthy stuff and eat more cereal <3
Urm... what else? The sleeping thing and the laziness are the real concerns for me.... I can't think of anything else....
Well, I should spend a lot more time studying, probably cut back on the internetting a whole lot. Probably give up MMO's all together by that point too xD Try to get a decent social life by then and.... go to the gym that would be good. Id love to loose this weight, especially since i seem to be putting more on :( I like the gym, i really enjoy the feeling afterwards, But i'm really lazy and would just sit on the net or play a game rather than go to the gym as planned, damn
So I have 7 months to train myself into being a responsible person. Maturity isnt really the right word for it, because im not very mature at all zOMG HARBL
If your wondering why i want to move out its because:
I really cant get along with my family much at all now. I swear they just try to piss me off all the time. So I usually stick out of the way of them cause I just cant be bothered with their crap sometimes. But I do have really cool parents, I just feel i've had enough of them now. My brother and sister are total assholes to me 70% of the time too so thats another reason.
I want my own space. Own rules. Chea boi, plus I can take home girls without getting annoyed about it from the fucktards
It would make me feel really accomplished and proud to do this. Id be proving something to myself and my parents. Show them I'm not a child like they think. Obviously I am quite immature but not irresponsible. Most everyone tells me I should stay with the parents for as long as possible. It's the best set up, have your food made for you, laundry done, little or no digs (rent kinda) etc. but I dont even appreciate it. I dont wanna be handfed through life id rather take a plunge at it. Sure it will be rough but I can say I did it in the end.
Then I can definately call myself an adult as soon as I leave my teens ^^
Any comments? Is this a good idea in your opinons? Should I milk my parents for all their worth?
its 6:37 am and i cant sleep. Also im kinda wired. :
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[18 Dec 2005|10:38pm] |
i cant be bothered updating this thing lately but im bored now and i will
thursday night:
me and a college mate went out drinking, got some laughs, got drunk, beat up a ginger headed guy in the bathroom and smashed hinm in the face with my glas o/ think i broke my finger doing that but its worth it. the guy bought me drinks afterwards lets just say anyone in my shoes would have done the same... hes just so fucking annoying and he threatened me.
Friday: did nothing but play WoW a lot
Sat: Played more WoW... Ex called me at 11pm for a chat... i feel thers more to it but damnit. I dont want back with her. I hope I dont. Shes a cunt end of story.
Today: Played more WoW n stuff, level 20 now Shaman, get on kirin tor and play with me.
Sooooooooo christmas is soon, i really dont care much for it. I want a relationship. Or at least casual sex.
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[14 Dec 2005|08:43pm] |
Oh baby im going to sex you good
sex sex sex you like i really should
the ladies call me mr dude
nd they say in bed im really good
IM A LYRICAL MASTER
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[11 Dec 2005|07:32pm] |
hahaha Jawn (berserk Ayato) has the best away message on aim ever XDDD i can relate to it
'Today we salute you, Mr. Compulsive Away Message Checker. While most people are out actually having a fun life, you are at home reading about it on your computer screen. Right mouse click, Get Buddy Info, or the little Info box at the bottom of the Buddy List. You have people on that list you haven't talked to in years, but you still loyally read their away messages every day to see what they're up to (borderline stalking). So, crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Marauder of the Mouse Pad, and don't wander too far from your computer because you never know when someone's away message may change.'
kekekeke
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[11 Dec 2005|07:28pm] |
Hrmmm I think I understand people and things pretty well now
But maybe I dont
Dooooooooobedoooo
Im trying to get into a relationship asap, i dont care who with I just need someone for the time being.
And I might actually get someone.
Confidence, Banter, Perserverance
Its all you need, the 3 tools to get any girl.
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[10 Dec 2005|11:49pm] |
Last night was a blur, but fun. I ended up being sick when i got home >< im loosing my touch.
I actually got a girls number last night... but I dont remember her face XD im sure she was fine. I was going to go to a bar with her but my friend wanted to go home cause he was feeling ill so I had to go. I text her number but she said last night that she never has credit in her phone, so she texts through the internet or something? Also I might have messed it up typing her number in but meh, If i dont see her again I dont care.
I'm just proud I actually did it. And now that I know I can do it, i'll do it again next time i'm out, which will be soon I hope.
So things have picked up for me slightly, still feeling emo about Gemma I dunno why, I wanna forget about her.
Oh and my college friend is really serious about the band we're starting and i'm happy, he's gonna really help me get better too I cant wait till we get a full band set up.
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[08 Dec 2005|10:05pm] |
Woot my friend broke up with his gf and now is seeing some other girl, and i think everyone except the she bitch is happy :D me n him are gonna go out tomorrow
you all best pray that levvy gets a girls number at least ;.;
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| oooooo kay |
[06 Dec 2005|10:30pm] |
So lately ive been pretty weird in my moods. Mainly I have big mood swings. Yesterday I was happy as hell, I went to a go-karting race for charity (same sort of thing as the lunch i went to on friday) and it was awesome had a really good time, but last night I had a dream about Gemma. And I dreamt she wanted to get back with me and despite me running the situation through my head a million times before and deciding I woul tell her to beat it if she did.. I didnt.
Of course this was a dream, but god my dream self was happy.
So I woke up, actually thought it happened and went into a real depressed mood all morning and afternoon.
But its a good thing, I really understand myself a lot more now and even this LJ helps me pan things out from my head.
So yeah, It's not Gemma I want back, its the security of a long term girlfriend I want (which i was foolish to think I had with Gemma but its her that made it feel so committed, not me, but I didnt have a problem with it at all I liked it). But god-damn... How do I get one?
I Really want one before christmas but that would require a miracle amirite (c'mon jesus do my a favour, i know its your birthday but spread the love dawg)
My problem is meeting people I could potentially date. I never really get to go out and socialise because I dont know anyone much apart from a few friends to invite out to go to pubs etc. These guys I can invite either live too far away or are arseholes with bitch girlfriends who wont come out (even after promising!) And even though I know I can walk into the pub by myself and meet people I know... I dont like doing that, its really akward just inviting yourself along with people, I hate being a third wheel so why make myself one?
I cant meet girls through college as I only go there once a week, and theres only 4 girls in my class, and only 1 is nice enough looking to date but she really annoys me and has a boyfriend, and I dont talk to much others in my class except from our little group of five we have.
However dont think of me as a really shy, timid guy. I can talk to strangers in any situation. I do flirt a little with girls e.g. girls working the counters in stores etc but I dont really get far with it XD and If I do I mess up and dont take it any firther than just a little bit of light flirting cause I'm not that confident hehe
But i've not been in the local pubs since... Gemma...
And I know I could hook up if I went back, I kow I can. Because Knowing you can and will is the main quality you need. And im a lot more confident with a little drink in me and especially more confident in talking to people drunker than me XD but damnit, these oppurtunites are not arising for me. It really sucks.
So theres my rant as to why I'm single, in my opinion, if you beleive that. I crave a relationship, not for sex (when you get it often its boring, I lost a lot of sex drive with gemma cause she was a nymph lol) No, I really just want someone to call and talk to for hours, someone to text while im in work, someone to waste my evenings away with and someone to open up to. Yes I am sentimental, guys do have those qualitites although some dont really care to show it (and for some reason I think most girls see Sensitivity as a weakness in guys, so you need to balance it out with some macho crap, I was pretty much the bitch with gemma, I cared for her on a real deep level, but i shouldnt have done that all the time with her)
The journey of a human life is very exciting and enjoyable. Dont ever get down about life its fantastic. Even though I get sad now and then and tend to go on here to vent it out, I'm really a very happy person, honest hehe
Also im doing pretty good with my Bass I wanna join a band asap as I know I can play at least of a minimal quality. I'm pretty sure I could do a gig now as its not too hard to play Bass, depends how complex you make it really. Im thinking this because my mums cousins came over on sunday and one of them, Ian, is a guitar insturctor. He knows bass too. So hes giving me and my brothers tips since he came through the door lol for like 5 hours, and this guy is fucking amazing on guitar its unbeleivable to hear all these different styles and sounds he can make with just one instrument. And apparently his brother is better and we'll meet him soon :D So he gave us alot of tips and some practise notes, tabs etc and he asked how long i had been playing, to which i said since late august. And he said im really good for a guy whos been playing about 4 months ^__^ of course he may of exagerrated but its great to get complimented on it as its the first time anyone has complimented me on my bass.
Also i wrote a song today, and when i tabbed it a name came into my head for the name of the song, which seemed really perfect for it, the name I stole from Abby/Lowell tho, its called fishtown >:D I'll maybe record it if my brotheres interested in helping me with it.
hmmm what else? I have college tomorrow, I always look forward to college as its like the most social interaction I get in the week, but then again I met a lot of people on friday and monday, but those were really business things. I want my dadto host more corporate events its awesome, these guys are the funniest and most interesting guys ever I swear.
Also Im procrastinating an awful lot lately, thing I need to have done months ago I will try n complete for friday. Also I wanna try n get back to the gym. I hope to go at least once this week. I enjoy the gym even, I really like the feeling afterwards, dunno why im not going >< i could use the excercise definately
Oh and ive almost beat Castlevania on the DS 100% :D on the final final boss (for the good ending) and hes kinda tough ill beat him tomorrow. Got the Julius mode too its pretty cool.
woooo kinda long post tis one, bet noone reads it :P
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| Hrm |
[30 Nov 2005|09:29pm] |
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So, for the past week n a bit Ive been... alone. I didnt have anyone to do anything with. My best friend (pretty much the only friend I have) is too busy with his girlfriend and well, obviously Amanda and Gemma aren't around now. It's been pretty boring. Although my friend might go out drinking with me this weekend I doubt he will, he always cancels plans with me.
I kinda dawned on me today that my life is slipping by, now. I'm 20 next year. I really wish I was 15-16 again. In fact, I wish i could start of from new-born, only with the current intelligence I have now, that would rock.
So let's see, what have I accomplished in 19 and a half years:
Had sex with two partners, Got Drunk, Got Stoned, Learned to play an instrument, Achieved some passes in courses in school/college, Started a Career (although it might not be permanent, its still a long term career if I want it to be), Been in love (or have I?), Been on TV and Radio a few times, Learned to drive a car, Smashed my car, Been to court in defense, Visited many places overseas - furthest away place being Hawaii but mainly been to America just tourist traps for the most part -, Been in a fight, Been stabbed, Never broken a bone, Completely lost use of an important ligament...
Meh just trying to see what I have done with myself so far, its not much of a list at all. Funny how sex was the first one... Yet sex isnt why I desperately want to be in another relationship. Sure, its fun, you cant whack it at all its great. It does get boring when you get it a lot which I knew (at one point) But I just want someone who I can spend a lot of time with, get intimate and really open up to. For guys its the only way we can really open up about everyday crap that gets us down, your friends and family dont really care, but if your a girl you can... Guess im supposed to be emotionally stoic as a man (And i have been for many years during my teens which probably was a bad thing).
So what do I want to achieve with my life? I dont care where it leads me to I just want to be happy. I want to feel accomplished too and I cant do this with my current job... So i may quit one day.
Oh by the way I practised my Bass a lot of the past week since I got my new Ibanez, and its really quite a good feeling to notice a huge improvement in yourself in a course of a few days. Especially when you have no help.
Whats this post about anyways? I dunno I just like to talk about crap, make of it what you like.
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[17 Nov 2005|07:19pm] |
I went out on the tiles last night after college, it was so great, i just had a night of pure excessive alcohol with my friends, got a lot of laughs (almost got beat up a few times, i have that charm XD) and went home and spewed in my bedroom <3 Good night out
I was supposed to go out with amanda tonight but she had a load of uni stuff to do and frankly im too tired, im going to bed after this.
Work with a hangover is HELL
also came to terms with some things and life for levvy is gooood
hopefully ill see amanda this sunday, ill go over to hers one night next week too, shes awfully busy tho :( but she will have a break from uni at christmas so yay
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levvy's journal